New Week New Ideas
I've exhausted myself trying to be interested in my life. I guess one could say that I'm in a funk. It is very frustrating feeling like one has no control over their own life.
Why do we grow up thinking life is easy? People tell us how hard and bad life is, but we try not to listen. We keep thinking, if I wait a little longer things will be different. It's like when your stuck in high school you think, "things will be different when I grow up." And they are a bit, but there is still that vulnerability and helplessness that seems to permeate this experience of life. I try to fall back on the thought that God is in charge and not to let things get me down. I've been doing this on and off for a year or so. I suppose I think if I do this I will get my way and things will be lovely. Obviously, this is not how it works. It's my life and I've got to take charge. Not just knowing that I'm sick of it being how it is, but doing something constructive to change it.
It's so scary taking those first steps. I have a very bad habit of not following though. I will take a step towards change and then stop. Or I allow other things to distract me and worry over them to distract myself from the big problem. Of course I don't realize all this until after the fact. Hindsight is 20/20 right? It just seems like everyone else's life and problems are so much easier to solve than my own. That is total nonsense, obviously.
So here I am stuck in a mood or season of life that is uncomfortable. I've got to believe it will be better soon. Music and prayer will help get me through!
Why do we grow up thinking life is easy? People tell us how hard and bad life is, but we try not to listen. We keep thinking, if I wait a little longer things will be different. It's like when your stuck in high school you think, "things will be different when I grow up." And they are a bit, but there is still that vulnerability and helplessness that seems to permeate this experience of life. I try to fall back on the thought that God is in charge and not to let things get me down. I've been doing this on and off for a year or so. I suppose I think if I do this I will get my way and things will be lovely. Obviously, this is not how it works. It's my life and I've got to take charge. Not just knowing that I'm sick of it being how it is, but doing something constructive to change it.
It's so scary taking those first steps. I have a very bad habit of not following though. I will take a step towards change and then stop. Or I allow other things to distract me and worry over them to distract myself from the big problem. Of course I don't realize all this until after the fact. Hindsight is 20/20 right? It just seems like everyone else's life and problems are so much easier to solve than my own. That is total nonsense, obviously.
So here I am stuck in a mood or season of life that is uncomfortable. I've got to believe it will be better soon. Music and prayer will help get me through!
posted by library lizzy at 11:18 AM
2 Comments:
We will get there. Wherever "there" is.
Change (and life) is definitely scary, but there's nothing wrong with scary. What's brave is seeing scary, admitting scary is scary, and then changing (or living) anyway. You're doing that (and very well I might add). You will get there. And what a lovely there it will be! (all the more lovely for having been scary)
Post a Comment
<< Home